It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You ruined the universe
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
