it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
