New low: just hacked my moms facebook
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
