You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
