You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
