Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
