Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
