She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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