Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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