think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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