I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
