i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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