I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize