There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
