so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
