I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
