So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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