Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
