spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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