omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
