last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
