We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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