Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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