Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She announced her abortion via fbk
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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