Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
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