ya dads aren't the best wingmen
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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