My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize