My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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