time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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