i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
