First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
