I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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