my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
