I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Houston, we have a squirter
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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