my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
