Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
