Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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