my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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