glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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