Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp

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(512): View more from Texas

I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are

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(207): View more from Maine

i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.

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(810): View more from Michigan

We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks

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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks

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(614): View more from Ohio

i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.

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