Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
