sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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