1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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