Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
