Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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