I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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