It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
there is another microwave in the elevator.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
