I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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