dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
