so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
