Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
