stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
