do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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