Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
