...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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