I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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