Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
