i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
