so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
