why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
