Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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